When your child takes an agonizingly long time to learn or do something, it can be tempting to think that they’re not trying hard enough. That they’re being… lazy. Sloth-like. Well, here’s when comparing your child to a sloth is a good thing.
Stick with me. I like analogies and I think this is a pretty good one.
Sloth Crossings
The Sloth Conservation Foundation is dedicated to “saving the world’s slowest mammal in a quickly changing world”. What recently caught my attention was one of their initiatives – Sloth Crossings.
Sloth crossings are rope bridges between trees in the forest canopy that allow the sloths to move from one tree to another without descending to the forest floor. These bridges are necessary because humans are encroaching on sloth habitat with their roads, dogs, and other dangers.
How does a sloth cross the road? By crawling. Very slowly. Being down on the ground makes them vulnerable to traffic, dogs, and more. A high rope bridge allows sloths to move more safely through their habitat.
Similarly, your child might need a different path. What does the ‘road’ look like for your child? What is taking them a long time to learn? Is it reading, dividing fractions, playing the piano, swimming, or something else?
What Your Child Wants or Needs to Do
Whether it’s something your child wants to do or is required to do, look for alternative routes. Whether it’s dividing fractions or learning to read, there are so many different ways to teach and learn. Spend time helping your child find their best approach to accomplishing tasks. Then, encourage them to adopt a growth mindset.
For difficult tasks that are required, help them understand why those things are necessary. Most often, mastering a difficult task will help them achieve a higher goal. Ideally, you want to encourage intrinsic motivation – the drive to learn and do things for the pure joy of meeting a challenge and coming out on top. Extrinsic motivation or rewards for completing tasks should be used sparingly.
I’ve included links below for more on how to foster a growth mindset and instrinsic learning.
What You Want Your Child to Do
What about the things you want your child to do? Are these things truly necessary? I’m not talking about dividing fractions. That goes under the ‘need to do/required’ column. I’m talking about optional things like playing the piano.
Over the years, I’ve had to recognize that certain goals might be my dream and not my children’s. Or perhaps the timing’s not right. Maybe it’s something to save for later, which brings us to…
Patience
I love the visual that these sloth crossings provide – of finding a different path to safely achieve a desired goal. I also think sloths give us something else to consider and incorporate. Patience.
Perhaps your child is already on the best path. Maybe they shouldn’t or can’t take an alternative route. Maybe they really do need to cross that metaphorical road. And perhaps you need to get out there and stop traffic so they can safely do it.
It can be difficult, particularly if a skill came easily to you, not to get impatient with a child who takes longer to achieve mastery. It can be hard to assist as needed, step back when needed, and empathize fully. In short, it’s difficult to be patient. Maintaining patience is your personal metaphorical road to cross.
Slow is Okay
We almost never praise slow in our ‘quickly moving world’. When you realize that slow is okay, you can have tremendous success.
I’ve seen this in many different forms with our homeschool group students. A child will be a ‘slow’ reader and then, with time and patience, become fluent readers. Though their mastery is late when measured by public school standards, it doesn’t matter. End result? A child who experiences success with none of the stress associated with being behind or failing.
Similarly, a child can struggle with math, always a year or so behind their grade level. They’ll be the slowest on the team. They’ll be the worst joke teller in the world. But, they keep plugging along and somewhere along the way, they magically turn the corner and go on to major in math, become a competitive athlete, or the kid who can get everyone laughing with their perfectly timed jokes. All because they were given the gift of time. Allowed to go slow.
Three Times Faster
Then again, a change in approach just might make their journey a little quicker. We think that sloths are slow, no matter what, right? Not really. Their top speed on land is 5 feet per minute. But up in trees? Up there, sloths move at a brisk 15 feet per minute. That’s three times faster!
The next time you’re tempted to compare your child to a sloth, think about the rope bridges that help the sloths. Does your child need or want to reach their goal on the other side of that metaphorical road? Can you help them find a different path to get there more easily and maybe a little more quickly? Or, should they go ahead and cross the road with you or others to stop traffic as needed?
Thanks for sticking with me through this analogy. If nothing else, it might help to picture your child as an actual sloth now and then. You have to admit. Sloths are pretty darn cute.
Embrace your child in all that they do – whether they do it quickly or slowly.
Related Posts:
Why You’re Not Lazy (and neither are your kids)
Four Steps for Success with a Growth Mindset
Two Ways to Motivate Your Homeschool Student
And, you can read more about sloth crossings at Sloth Conservation Foundation
Images from Canva.com