Do you feel a constant urge to be productive? To prove your value by getting things done? Do you often struggle with feeling lazy? Join the crowd. We live in a society that values achievement and not many of us are immune to the pressure. Parents in general and homeschoolers in particular are especially vulnerable. Here’s why you’re not lazy (and neither are your kids).

If you’re feeling unmotivated or ‘lazy’, don’t automatically take it as a sign that you need to power through and work harder. And don’t assume when your child isn’t finishing their work that they’re lazy. Instead, use it as a cue to take a break or perhaps reassess things.

In Laziness Does Not Exist, social psychologist Devon Price examines why we link worth with productivity. Price argues that we’re not lazy. On the contrary, we’re obsessed with achievement. Price presents compelling arguments for rethinking laziness and recognizing that your achievements don’t dictate your worth.

“Achievements are fleeting things. They can never bring us true satisfaction… being achievement-obsessed actually makes life less rewarding and enjoyable, because we never get to savor or appreciate what we’ve done or where we’ve been.”

Devon Price, PhD., Laziness Does Not Exist

You are Not a Lazy Parent

If you’re a homeschool parent, chances are you’re a pretty self-motivated and driven person. Homeschooling takes perseverance, dedication, and a whole lot of work. It’s hard to draw a line between school and family time. You find yourself looking into homeschool resources late at night or before your kids get up. You don’t get to ‘go home’ after school work is finished each day. You’re basically at work all the time.

So you keep pushing. You try to figure out how to challenge the child who’s plowing through material you thought would take months. You search for better teaching resources for the child who just isn’t ‘getting’ a subject. And you wonder if we’re doing enough enriching activities. Your to-do lists get incredibly long.

Is it possible you’re putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and your child? What would life look like if you slowed down? If you were a little… lazy.

Price encourages us to slow down, to savor achievements, work less, and avoid the temptation to be an expert in everything. In other words, be a slacker every so often. It takes some work to embrace this attitude.

Your Child isn’t Lazy Either

I like Price’s take on how to look at a child who is perceived as being lazy. They link the poor performance or seeming laziness to three causes:

  • Procrastination – According to Price, putting things off is often a ploy of those struggling with anxiety, confusion, or a desire for perfection. Procrastinators can benefit from help to break a project into manageable chunks.
  • Apathy – These children haven’t been convinced that the task is important or achievable. First, help them understand why they need to learn the information. And then (in my opinion), you should encourage them to develop a growth mindset.
  • Depression – Price details how depression is exhausting and decreases the brain’s ability to plan and execute actions, leaving little energy for completing tasks. Consider whether this might be an issue for your child.

Those three items above are a good start for a child who seems unmotivated. It’s also worth considering if any of them apply to you.

Improving Return on Investment

Think about how much time you work on planning and implementing your homeschooling. The time that you spend worrying about how your children are doing. And what about the time your child spends doing school? Or putting off doing school. Would it be okay to encourage some slacking off? Those times we term ‘lazy’ can actually be of great benefit. When you let your mind wander, you often come up with new ways to approach things. At the very least, you’ll recharge your batteries.

It’s not all about tackling the list and getting things done. It’s about knowing your limits and taking care of yourself and your children. Allow time for just being. Not doing. Being.

I am a human being, not a human doing.

Attributed to Wayne Dyer, Kurt Vonnegut, and others.

When you take this view – that you’re a human being first- you start to trust in your sense of when you’re overloaded. You begin to question the demands of trying to ‘do it all’. You understand why you aren’t lazy (and neither are your kids). And you start to see the wisdom in scaling back for a better more balanced life.

Just so you know, I’m working on all of this. But I’m proud to report that I have NOT added it to my to-do list.

Take care,