Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street sing about a little girl whose stubborn independence had profoundly negative consequences. It’s a cautionary tale that may resonate with homeschoolers who are, by nature, pretty darn independent. Her story might serve as a reminder to connect with other homeschoolers… because nobody wants to be a lonesome Joan.
Oh, Lonesome Joan, Lonesome Joan
“Lonesome Joan” Bert and Ernie, Sesame Street 1982
Felt she had to do everything alone
She said, “I don’t need no help, I can do it by myself”
Oh, Lonesome, Lonesome Joan
Okay, I’m having a bit of fun here. My excuse? It’s the end of January, when homeschooling can be a bit of a grind for us. This is when I typically push a little harder on the academics because we’re not out and about so much. And now, as February approaches, I’m thinking about how to get out more (and also making obscure and random connections in my brain for entertainment).
Joan’s Story and You
Bert and Ernie tell us how little Joan wouldn’t let anyone help her learn to tie her shoes, read, write, etc. So (spoiler alert), Lonesome Joan ends up at age 81 unable to write her name or count.
Just like Joan, you don’t have to do everything alone. In fact, you shouldn’t. You absolutely need to connect with others. Not just to learn practical skills – in Joan’s case, tying her shoes; in your case, perhaps finding good books to read, science experiments that work, or a new place to visit locally.
You also need the camaraderie of other homeschoolers and parents. I guarantee that they’re all experiencing many of the same struggles as you. These people have information to share and, more importantly, they can listen.
Other homeschoolers need your support as well. Being there for someone else is a powerful way to get out of your own head.
How to Connect with Other Homeschoolers
So, how do you access these wonderful people who need you just as much as you need them? The biggest obstacle is not the first step, it’s the second one.
The first step is doing the research. You get online and find a group or two that look promising. You message or email for more information. Presumably, you get access to their calendar of events and…
Now you have to take that difficult second step. You have to go and actually meet up with a group of strangers and their children. This can be hard, especially if you’re more of an introvert like me. Do it anyway. At worst, you’ll walk away with a story that might be funny later. On the flip side, you may find a whole new community of like-minded people.
What happens if you don’t feel an immediate connection with the homeschool group you visit? Well, if you didn’t feel like it was a horrible fit for your family, give the group some time. Not everyone shows up at every event. Give the group a chance. Go a few more times and then make a decision.
I know that some homeschoolers find their ‘people’ right away. For others, it’s a struggle. What’s the key? I’m pretty sure it’s mostly luck. If you find your people right away, appreciate this gift. If you’re struggling, you’ll need to persevere. It’s hard. But keep looking and you’ll find your people eventually.
Diversify
Don’t forget that it’s perfectly okay to be friends with public school families. Some of my kids’ best friends are in public school. How do we know them? Maybe they tried homeschooling or considered it and that’s how we met. Or we connected through youth sports. Regardless, we’ve stayed friends over the years and it’s added some diversity and perspective to our lives. In addition, these public school parents have been remarkably supportive of my family’s homeschooling journey.
Time Passes
Well, time went by and Joan grew old as people sometimes will…
“Lonesome Joan” Bert and Ernie, Sesame Street, 1982
Just a gentle reminder that time is passing by. Make a commitment to regularly get out of your comfort zone and try to connect with other homeschoolers. Even after you’ve found your people.
Yes, I’ve got my nice, comfy, cozy homeschool group. But I do regularly try to push beyond this comfort zone. Like last week when I approached some homeschoolers at the park with their kids. They were polite, but not too interested in making new friends. After an awkward conversation, I sort of slunk away. It was a reminder that we can’t expect to be best friends with random strangers just because they homeschool. Still, you never know what might happen. I’ve made some pretty awesome friends by making that very assumption.
Don’t be a lonesome Joan. Work to find your homeschool community. You’ll make connections that help everyone thrive.
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