A lot of questions crop up about whether homeschooled kids get enough social interaction. (They do.) What we don’t hear too much about is socialization for homeschool parents.
I remember a morning very clearly in our early days of homeschooling. I had spent an enormous amount of time putting together a fun and amazing (or so I thought) activity for my three boys. They were 7, 5, and 2 at the time. Never mind what the activity was. I actually don’t remember the specifics but I do remember this – my kids were not excited about it. They didn’t think it was fun or, more importantly, that I was any fun at all. And I clearly recall crouching down in front of them and saying this….
“You know, I used to work with a lot of people who thought I was fun to be around. They liked me and thought I had good ideas.”
Ha! At the time, some part of my brain probably recognized that it was funny in a ‘it’s not funny now, but it will be later’ way. But I was also hurt. My kids, essentially my new ‘coworkers’, didn’t like my ideas… they didn’t appreciate me! Fast forward a dozen years or so and my kids still don’t always think I’m that amazing or even very funny. But I’m handling it better. 🙂
It’s easy to expect appreciation from your children, especially because you’re making a tremendous effort to homeschool them well. And every so often they’ll surprise you with gratitude. But, ultimately you’re their parent and educator. Not the amazing coworker you once were. Getting together with other homeschool parents can help you get that coworker’s sense of camaraderie and lift you up.
Of course, you know this. We all do. But it can be hard. Many days it’s just your kids and you – which is pretty much what you signed up for – but you do need time with other supportive adults. While we initially seek out a homeschool community for our kids, it’s essential for us as homeschooling parents too.
If you’re new to homeschooling during the pandemic, just remember that this is a hard time to connect with people. Hang in there. I promise it will get better. Homeschoolers do field trips, park dates, group projects, volunteering, and so much more. Make contact with some homeschool groups now and stay connected online. When you can, meet up with a few groups and you’ll eventually find your ‘tribe’.
In the course of running Green Mountain Area Homeschoolers, I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many fellow travelers in this homeschool journey. Some are like-minded and some are not. It doesn’t matter. We almost always find common ground for friendship. Some join me on my path for only a short time – they may move or switch to public school. Others flex in and out as our paths and schedules align. And some stay.
The ones that stay are the ones I rely on. They’re my friends and also, in a sense, coworkers. They’re the ones that truly understand the challenges and also the ones that will recognize and celebrate your successes as no one else can.
I believe successful homeschool parents recognize the value of socialization for themselves, not just for their children. Homeschool friends may come and go or they may stay for the long haul. Either way, they’re important. Enjoy them for however long they travel with you.
