For the past few months, our homeschool group has been working on our National History Day performance. This year, 17 of our students participated, ages 4 to 17. Although the students are the ones on stage, it’s important to put a spotlight on parent performance too. I often think the actions and words of the parents may be more important than what happens on stage.
Take a step back and you’ll realize just how important the parents are in student performances. They get their children to rehearsals, help them practice lines, and figure out costumes – all important tasks. But there’s one more key role they play – they provide feedback after the performance.
Thankfully, we have wonderful parents in our group. They get the whole concept of our National History Day (NHD) performance – our ‘why’.
Our Goals for NHD Student Performances
Our performances are centered around the NHD annual theme. The students pick a historical figure of their choice and I write a play that brings them together (time travel involved) to discuss the theme in relation to their character’s perspectives and experiences. Most of the students also present an individual speech about their historical figure.
So, it’s about learning history in a fun and engaging manner. But it’s more than that. Much of our ‘why’ is focused on giving the students a good experience with basic theater and public speaking.
During our NHD rehearsals, I work to help the students feel relaxed and confident as they move on stage, deliver their lines, and interact with each other and the audience. For many of them, it’s their first appearance on stage. For those who have performed before, I encourage them to grow in their abilities.
Regardless of whether our students go on to do more theater productions, they’ll need public speaking skills. For the rest of their lives, they’ll have an advantage if they’re comfortable speaking in front of groups, whether large or small and for business or social occasions.
Having struggled with public speaking since childhood, I have a special interest in encouraging children. And having a professional background in coaching on-camera talent (a previous career), I like to help children identify their own unique strengths as well as the elements of a successful performance.
Put a Spotlight on Parent Performance
It’s difficult to be a parent. It really is. You always wonder if you’re saying the right things, doing the right things, and making the right decisions. I get it. And now you’re supposed to react perfectly to your child’s performance. It can be difficult, particularly when you spent umpteen billion hours rehearsing a line with them and they completely forgot it during the performance. Who wouldn’t be frustrated?
Still, you need to take a step back. Even if you know they knew that line, it’s important to let it go. Chances are, they’re more frustrated than you. Delivering a line on stage is often much harder than you think it should be. Nerves and countless other distractions can make a well-rehearsed line completely disappear from memory.
When the performance is over, you want your child to feel some sense of accomplishment, no matter how it went. This is the time to focus on the good. Look for what they did well.
There’s an adage about feedback. That for every one negative comment, you should give three positive. I don’t agree with this, particularly with respect to student performance. We all tend to focus on that one negative and forget any positive. I’m in favor of completely ditching any negative feedback, even if it’s veiled as ‘constructive criticism’.
Now’s the time to give genuine and well-thought out positive feedback. Instead of “You did great”, perhaps “I loved the way you gestured when you said that line” or “Your tone of voice was perfect when you said __________”. As a parent, we need to remember that every moment doesn’t have to be a teachable one. We can step back from that role of mentor and just be supportive.
Time
One of the best things to do beyond those few key words of praise is to give your child time to process. I love this advice for speakers:
Even if you tripped on stage, we don’t want you to say anything negative about it for twenty-four hours. Only positive things. This is not about being a Pollyanna or being inauthentic. It is balancing out the tendency to discredit yourself and focus on what you could have done better instead of celebrating what you did.
How Your Story Sets You Free by Heather Box and Julian Mocine-McQueen
Another gem out of this book is their recommendation that speakers not downplay their efforts. Instead of negating praise by listing all the things they did wrong, students should learn to say, ‘Thank you, I did my best’.
Which is pretty good advice for parents too. Try to react in the best manner possible. And then think, “I did my best”. And, like your children, you’ll improve.
To see more photos from our performance, visit the Green Mountain Area Homeschoolers page.
For more on National History Day:
Homeschooling and National History Day
Innovative Ways to Use National History Day for Your Student