Do your children do what you tell them to do? The answer often depends on the child, the task, the setting, the emotions involved, and, of course, you. Are you good at giving instructions? How about following instructions? Your children learn the give and take of instructions from you.

All of life is an education and everybody is a teacher and everybody is forever a pupil.

Abraham Maslow

Everyone needs to be able to teach or instruct. You need to be able to convey information clearly. Your children also need to be able to give instructions. And they learn how to do it from you.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re teaching your children how do division or how to do the laundry. You want them to understand. So, you try hard to give good instructions – except when you’re super tired or busy or distracted or… life often gets in the way of your best intentions.

Communication has such a big impact on day-to-day operations in your family, it’s worth reviewing the basics. Read on for my (ahem) instructions for instructing…

4 Simple Steps for Instructing

  • Know what you want to convey
  • Know your audience
  • Be as concise as possible
  • Follow up

Know What You Want to Convey

Have a clear vision of what you want your child or children to learn or do. You may have loads of information to share but select a few key takeaways. This is a short list of the items that you determine are crucial. A friend of mine calls this the ‘cupcake’. Everything else is frosting and sprinkles.

Example: You want them to write a five sentence paragraph. Five sentences that start with a capital letter and end with a period are the cupcake. Correct spelling and grammar are the frosting and sprinkles. Make it clear that you expect a cupcake. Celebrate the cupcake when you get it. Don’t complain if there’s no frosting or sprinkles – you didn’t ask for them. The spelling and grammar can be your crucial elements – your cupcake – for your next assignment.

Know Your Audience

Think about what format will work best for the age and learning style of your student. Get input from them and then get creative. It’s easy to forget the wealth of tools we have at our disposal:

  • Verbal
  • Written
  • Demonstration
  • Email/Text
  • Video (YouTube) – primarily for group instruction

I use all of the above for teaching my children, communicating with my homeschool group parents and students, and in other aspects of my life as well.

It might seem easiest to blurt out a list of instructions right after breakfast. Remember though, you’re probably the only one that’s had coffee. Give everyone else a chance to wake up. A handwritten list or a text/email is often more effective.

I’ve also had success with making YouTube videos for pre-instruction to our homeschool group, particularly for our art project days. This is a wonderful way to get everyone on track. When we get together, everyone can immediately start on the art and visit with each other without having to sit through a bunch of instructions. Which brings me to my next point…

Be Concise

If there is one skill that my children have made me work on, it’s brevity. Apparently, I can be longwinded – ha! Now, I often give them instructions in chunks. It makes life easier for all of us. Once they get Part A done, I go over instructions for Part B. This also helps me better focus on giving better instructions for each component, rather than trying to get through the whole thing at once.

Follow Up

Finally, make sure that your audience has the knowledge you want them to have. You can ask them to repeat steps back to you or ask a few followup questions that require comprehension of the steps. This is especially important for me. I often have information in my head that I thought I conveyed but didn’t. And, unfortunately, my children are not mind readers.

A note here – it doesn’t hurt your children to occasionally see what doesn’t work with instructions. They’ll run into it with college professors, employers, coworkers, etc. So, when you’re distracted and leave out vital information, realize that you’re helping them appreciate and recognize good instruction!

Successful leaders tell people to do what they love.

Leadership Freak

Right, you say. How does that work with getting my child to clean the bathroom or even put their shoes away so I don’t trip on them every time I turn around?

Let your brain twist this statement around a little bit – “Successful leaders tell people to do what they love”. No, your children will probably never love scrubbing a toilet. (Who does?) But they may develop an affinity for having things clean and orderly. They may begin to see that organization or mastering tough concepts in schoolwork gives them a sense of accomplishment. Many times you don’t need to nurture a love of the task – you just need to appeal to the feelings they have when it’s done.

Taking Instruction

In the give and take of instruction with your children, you want to model listening well. The best instructions are a waste if nobody’s listening. How can you do this? I’m a big believer in showing by example. For more, read Listen Well to Teach Well.

There’s nothing like homeschooling to make you take a good hard look at your abilities as a teacher, a parent, and a person. It can be humbling. My wish for every homeschool parent is that they always feel that their strengths outweigh their weaknesses. AND, to know that working to improve sets a wonderful example for their children.